I don't know if I want to be alone or not
Maybe it's just a bl**dy defence mechanism or sth
I really don't know
It hurts
But I don't...
I want...
I don't know
Well
Even if I want to there's no one
So end of the story
Chaw
بعضی وقتا خودمم نمیدونم چرا ناراحتم
الان میدونم
یعنی فکر میکنم میدونم
ولی بازم به آهنگای ناراحت کننده گوش میدم
لعنت...
We did it N. We did it
We stopped crying
We stopped being sad
We danced
And jumped
And laughed again
With this song
Nope we're not giving up on it
Nope we won't let this cruel world take our little things that make us happy when we're sad
We won't let it make us sad
We won't give in
We won't let it go
It's gonna stay as the song to make us happy when we're sad
I guess then david won't be sad too
He would've gotten sad if he knew that because he's dead we let go of his song
And get sad when hearing it
Not that's not what he would've wanted
It's gonna stay as our favorite song
Our song
Yes
I'm happy
I thought I lost it
I really did
But today
When it started accidentally
I didn't stop it
I let it play
And we were going to cry
But then I thought
That's not right
I shouldn't let it get like this
It was one of our favorite songs
The song that I sang for N. When he was sad
The song that made us happy when we were sad
It was one of the songs that could always make us happy
Even when we thought nothing can
When nobody could or even tried to
And I stopped
And said let's forget that he's dead and gone
It's not our first time
Michael is dead
Alan is dead
K. Is dead
L. Is dead
That's not something new
But we don't cry when their songs or movies play
So
This one shouldn't too
So
And now while writing this
It came to my mind
That I shouldn't cry while remembering good memories of her too
Because then they will be ruined
And that's not what she wants for us
She had told us this thing directly
But damn I can't
In this one I can't
Cause even right now I'm at the point
That remembering another memory of her can definitely make me cry
And that makes the second time I'm gonna cry today so nope
Forget about it
M. Don't hate yourself
I'm never gonna do that
No bargaining
Or doing anything to ...
Or even going after....
Never
These are the things that people must learn from it
It's not religion that is important to me
It's the way that people are
Their personality
Their goodness
Their kindness
Their humanity
That's whats important
Sometimes teachers can say good stuff too
But that doesn't mean that they're not stupid
Phonies :))))
H. You damn boy :))))
I'm so like him
Believe me or not
I misd him
By the way
Am I guilty
For the death of my plants
?
Well I feel guilty
And for ruining that poor thing too
And for all that I did
And we both know what
Can you hear me
What am I to you
No answer
Well
That's it
I gotta go
Studying you know
It was a good day
K.C and I are friends again
And I talked to M.H.H too
And we had a great time with N.
What could be better?
I will visit them today
And I will buy some balloons too
I'm gonna buy some stuff for auntie and mom maybe
A lot of good things happening
Woohoo
Wish that nothing comes up and ruin it
We ran out of Internet
So it's really time to go
Bye Bye
See ya
Later
~_^
If there's one thing I miss about school
That would be the garden and it's trees
And the cold chair
And the old lamps